Q. I’ve built a solid career with my aggregator and team, but lately I feel restless. I keep wondering if I’ve outgrown where I am, yet the thought of leaving makes me question myself. How do you know when it’s actually time to move on?
This is one of the most common conversations I’m having with brokers right now, particularly high performers.
At some point in your career, growth stops feeling exciting and starts feeling uncomfortable. The systems, relationships, and identity that once helped you succeed can begin to feel restrictive. That doesn’t automatically mean something is ‘wrong’. It can just mean you’ve evolved.
The difficult part is that many people mistake outgrowing a situation for disloyalty, ego, or failure. Cue the internal dialogue: “Who do I think I am?”
Let me be clear: healthy ambition is not arrogance.
Humans naturally seek familiarity and certainty, so even positive growth can trigger self-doubt. Your brain would often prefer a known environment that feels limiting over an unknown one that requires expansion. That tension can create guilt, hesitation, and overthinking.
I also think many brokers underestimate how much identity becomes attached to their current role, aggregator, or business relationships. Leaving can feel less like a business decision and more like questioning who you are.
So, the key is to stop asking “Am I allowed to want more?” and instead ask “Does this environment still support the direction I’m trying to grow into?”
Not every feeling of discomfort means you should leave. But ignoring persistent misalignment usually comes at a cost. Resentment, reduced motivation, emotional exhaustion, and feeling psychologically stuck are often signals worth paying attention to. Sometimes growth requires permission from nobody except yourself.
If you have a question that you’d like answered by psychotherapist Bronwyn Penhaligon in the Your Health in Mind section of The Adviser, you can email your question in confidence to [email protected].
Or, if you feel you need more support, you can visit penhaligons.com.au to schedule a one-on-one appointment.
